innkeeper

This is a monologue, which could be performed around Christmas time. It is about one of the least talked about characters within the Christmas story. He certainly is not the most important, but I often wonder what he must have thought of this glorious event…Yes, sir, here are your extra towels (hands couple a set of towels).No, I am sorry we do not have a hot tub.Wow, what a day. This census that Caesar asked for is really good for business!(Yawn) I think I am going to head to bed. Honey, please move over [I wouldn't know, but that's what I think I would say].(laying down) Oh, this feels so good! The bed is so…[Knock, Knock]Who could it be at this time of night?Hello?Yes, it is late.Nice to meet you, Joseph.No, we are all booked up. I am sorry you didn’t make any reservations. You might want to check the Motel 6 down the street…they always keep their lights on for you.Oh, you already checked?I understand you have traveled a really long way (from Nazareth) and that you are tired, but I am sorry we do not have any room for you here.I see that your wife is pregnant. She looks like she is ready to pop. I am sorry, did I say that out loud?Ok, I think I might have a place for you to spend the night, but only tonight. It is all that I got…Out back I have a cave and in that cave there is some hay and a feeding trough. You can make use of that area tonight. Don’t tell the Bethlehem safety Council, ok? I am sure it wouldn’t pass inspection. You can sleep tonight for free. Please, be quiet. Most of our guests are sleeping.Yes, you are welcome.Good night.Hmm…what an interesting couple. What a polite man. They look so young to be having a baby.(scratching eyes) Now my bed is calling my name. Ahh…I love this new Temper-Pedic mattress.[Knock, Knock] Cant a man sleep in peace?Yes, how can I help you?You are shepherds. I am sorry we cannot let you in our inn. This is a civilized place. If others knew you stinky, dirty guys were here I would surely lose customers. Plus, we do not allow pets in the rooms. Your sheep would need to stay outside.Oh, you don’t want a room. Well, fine. Why did you wake me up then?You are looking for a baby? I don’t know of a baby…wait…I just sent a couple out back. The woman looked very pregnant.Yes, they are from Nazareth, how did you know?You saw angel?Are you sure? I am sure you get a little loony after being in those fields with sheep all day and night. I am sure it gets a little lonely too. But, angels? Now, that’s funny!Ok, ok, I guess you guys are pretty serious. The young family is out back in the cave. You can leave your sheep there too, it is a perfect place for animals. Please, keep them quiet. I wouldn’t want to be a baaaaaad host now.Good night gentlemen.Talk about a strange night. Shepherd coming to Bethlehem because angels old them too. Crazy, shepherds!Alright, now…Oh, that’s great. Boy, she snores really loud.[Knock, knock]Goodness! That’s it. This has got to stop.(frustrated) WHAT DO YOU…want?Oh, please forgive me your majesty’s. What can I do for you? What pretty gifts you have. No, I am sorry our royal suites are taken. I can make sure we have something available right away tomorrow!You are not looking for a room?You mean to tell me for 4 months you have been walking across the countryside following a star? You call yourselves wise guys? Sounds crazy if you ask me.You come to seek a baby?Ok, follow me.Hello, Joseph.You have a baby? Already? That was quick! I guess your wife really did have to pop. You have a son?Congratulations.He is so quiet.Why are the shepherds worshipping the baby? (looks left)Why are these wise men bowing down too? (looks back)They are bowing down to the baby?Oh, my, oh, my…You are the One I heard about in Sunday School. It is true. At my inn! It is the LORD. You are the LORD! (worships himself)